Friday, April 30, 2010

I'm Comin' Out, I Want the World to Know...

I came out to my dad's adopted parents this week when I was catching-up with them on the phone. I hadn't spoken with them since early March and they were itching to know what I had been up to. I'm fairly sure they were just wondering if I had decided to go back to school in the fall or not, instead I broke the news to them that I have a girlfriend and am extremely happy with her and I told them that if I do go back to school, it'll be for massage therapy and not for English or Linguistics.

This month has been incredible. I feel so alive and happy and I don't want to hide any bits of myself anymore. I know that some of my family members either won't understand or are quite homophobic and will probably become quite uncomfortable when I come out to them, but if they truly care about me and who I am and where my life is headed, they best be hearing about my lovely girlfriend.

If you read through my Mission 101 list, you'll find a vast array of challenges, some rather puny and others quite grand-scale. Coming out to all of my family members is on that list. I've decided that it isn't quite necessary to call-up the people that I really don't ever talk to (estranged/distant relatives) just for this conversation, but for the people who have a more solid role in my life, I've got to let them know.

Since I've just told my dad's adopted parents, now that whole side of the family knows. Yay! My dad's birth mother and one of her sons also know but her other two sons and their wives and children do not. My sister, her son and I will be road-tripping to visit them during the first weekend in August. I fully intend on coming out to them while I'm there, as I haven't the slightest idea when I'll see them again. As they're quite the conservative bunch, I'm not quite sure exactly how they'll take it, but I'm prepared to have a few bible verses shoved down my throat.*

I haven't tackled my mom's siblings and their significant others and children, though the cousins do have Facebook, but that just doesn't count. I'm not so nervous about coming out to them, but I want a good time to do so. I won't be making it home anytime soon (that it looks like), so maybe I should send my aunt a letter, a response to the letter she sent me this week, but with an added coming out edge. We'll see.

However they take it, I want people to know because if they have and questions or concerns, I can answer them. If they're unsure about their opinion of homosexuality because they're ignorant, I'll educate them. Here's to hoping all goes well!


* Whenever I hear the phrase "shoved down my throat," I think about this poster. Hey, guess what? The image actually applies to this entry:

My seventh grade science teacher had this up in her room. On the first day of class that foggy September, she asked us which character wasn't going to give up. I immediately thought: "Well duh! The frog doesn't want to get eaten, so he's certainly going to struggle to make sure he doesn't get swallowed." Most of my classmates agreed but someone asked: "Well, what about the bird? He's gotta be hungry. Maybe he hasn't seen food for awhile and this is his only chance to eat to survive." Well, dang. There now, we've got a stalemate. Neither wants to die. Both are going to struggle. Someone is definitely going to be satisfied and someone is definitely going to be disappointed. It's important for me to remember this image and phrase as I'm coming out. I'm absolutely certain of my identity and I'm not going to be changed or convinced that what my lovestyle is wrong. I understand that for those people who just don't quite get how someone can be attracted to a person of the same gender, they'll not want to give-up trying to save me from what they deem a "sinful life." I may always be at a stalemate with some relatives when I come out to them, but at least I'm not going to hide myself for the comfort of someone else.